Absolutely over the Moon!
by ChowHound
Summary: Chow and Pauile join N-Tek. Hilarious. References to various cartoons and Video Games.


Again the pixie unsuccessfully wake up the girl. Huffing and puffing she was _this_ close to summoning the girl's worst nightmare.

Ugh, but neither of them really wanted that so the pixie tried one last time. The bus came to a screeching halt, the movement made the girl jolt up instantly and unconsciously smack the pixie several feet backwards.

"Ugh,mm were here!" She jumped up in excitement but growled when she saw the pixie. "Get your lazy ass up Paulie. Damn, always sleeping"

Pauile brushed herself off and recluantly followed the girl off the bus and into the near desert terrian. "Chow, where's N-Tek, didn't ya say it was here?"

"It's underground idiot. Just gotta wait till someone else picks up."

A few minutes later two other people; a girl and a boy showed up.

"Chowhound and Pauile..um, A?" The girl asked. "Actually I go by Chow and the 'A' stands for asshole."

The girl giggled while the boy rolled his eyes. "Well congratulations, Welcome to N-Tek."

The girl, introduced as Ranomi assistance chief science director showed them around the building then finally their divisions.

"So what am I again?" Chow asked as they entered the war room( the room where they have the meeting at).

"You're what we call allied support; you kinder to the chief fighters"

Chow stopped and looked at the pixie for clarification. "We're basically their servants"

"Oh hell no, my peoples didn't fight 400 years of slaverly and opression so we can return to it-"

Kat and Jefferson had walked in and stared in wonder at the rumbling girl going about Sojourner Truth and Malcolm X.

"Uh who's this?" Kat questioned Ranomi. "Your new allied support, enjoy"

Jefferson pulled out a sand which Chow snatched it. "Give me that sandwich, nigga" Chow began stuffing her face then nearly choked(Pauile gave the hamlich).

" Hey everybody" Berto said skateboarding with Max and Steel not so far behind also the boy from earlier.

"So how do I change this allied support thing?"

"Well-" Ranomi said, ignoring the prevented look Berto was giving her. "-there's not that many other jobs expect custodial."

Chow briefly imagined her and Pauile in janitor's clothes cleaning god-forsaken bathrooms.

* * *

"Chow! Chow! There's a monster in the toilet!"

Chow quickly rushed over to her friend but instantly wished she hadn't. "Pauile, this isn't a monster, That's the movie State Property 2. Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick"

'Chow! Chow! There's a monster in the toilet!"

Chow rushed over to the bathroom.

"Pauile, this isn't a monster, it's Castelvania."

Chow tried to flush the toilet but it overflowed.

"Chow! Chow! The toilet!"

"Damn it, Pauile!" Chow screamed, grabbing the pixie by the collar. "It's probably another *bleep*-ing movie."

"No-" the pixoe pleaded "-there really is a monster there."

"Pauile there is no-"

"_I AM THE GREAT MIGHTY POO AND I"M GONNA THROW *bleep* AT YOU..."_

* * *

" Besides you don't even have any prior experience to any military or mercenary skill all it says here is that you just moved to Copper Canyon, there not even a date and how old are you?!"

"That's not the point! Look just give us a chance. Pleeeassee.~"

Ranomi looked from the pixie who was smiling a little to hard to the girl, who magically acquired dog ears and was sitting as if she wanted something.

"...I'll think about it."

"Hooray! Now we're not stuck with ass-wipe jobs." Chow cheered and turned to Pauile-A.

"But I didn't see a problem in being an allied support."

Chow looked at Pauile for a minute the immeadiatly grabbed a chair and threw it at her. "Nobody asked for your *bleep*-ing opinion!"

"Pixie Pollen!" Pauile screamed before the chair hit her; a gust of pixie dust showered the chair and placed it back where it originally was.

Forge happened to be walking in when he saw it. "What in blazes?" He walked over to Pauile. "Who are you?"

"She's with me" Chow rushed over and preached the pixie on her shoulder(Even though the pixie was the size of an 6 year-old child).

"Really?"

"Yes sir,-" Ranomi informed him. "-Their the new allied support"

"Well we're gonna need all the support we can get because Toxzon's at it again. And this time we believe he's being supplied by someone."

"Who?" Everyone asked.

"They have not been identified but Toxzon was just last seen near Copper Canyon Desert. Max, you , Steel, and Arthur go there. Berto go back them up with C.Y.T.R.O. Kat and Jefferson go cover them from the air..." Forge turned to Chow and Pauile"...Uh, you two go investigate this mysterious supplier. Alright, Let's move?"

Chow and Pauile found themselves near a damp cave where the 'mysterious supplier' was last seen.

"Damn it, why were stuck with boring-ass job. This *bleep*-ing ridiculous just because we don't want be no *bleep*-ing servants doaen't mean we wanna be *bleep*-ing solving mysterious like some *bleep* damn *bleep*sucking Scooby*bleep*-ing-Doo. *bleep* *bleep* *bleep*. SHUT UP!" Chow turned to Censor man.

"Well I'm not the one with the pooty mouth" he said, his voice quite nasally.

"Chow! I found something!" Pauile motioned her over. Chow looked in wonder at what Pauile found: A little pool within the ground filled a red substance.

"Pauile..._ Chow said. "...I think I've seen that liquid before-"

Chow was cut off by the shuffling of feet and when she looked up she saw a figure running away from them.

"Pauile!" Chow screamed.

"Right!" Pauile pulled out a too cute looking wand. "Sweet Trap Super Heart Stop!" A array of pink pixie dust went towards the man. "Blast!" He said as he tries to swat the dust away then trips.

The man started laughing as he got up. " Impunite foolies! You'll never stop me!"

"Stop you from doing what exactly?" Pauile asked.

"Minions! Attack!" The men screamed, ashed skinned possessed like people began to appear.

"Pauile!"

"Sweet Trap Supa-" A glob of the red liquid came at Pauile by the masked man and nearly dodged it.

"Damn it, Pauil-Oh forget this! Chow Planet Power, Make Up!"

In a very long very artistic transformation Chow transformed into a not-so-childish scantly clad sailor uniform.

"Mm, Oh this won't do! Lavender is not my colour!" Chow disguraded the outfit abd changed back to her original attire.

"What the hell was the point of that?" Pauile asked while slowly making her way over to the girl.

"Nothing but I still have this!" Chowhound pulled out the Ends of Earth keyblade. "Where did you get that?

"Oh let's just say a special friend gave it to me."

* * *

~ Somewhere in Kingdom Hearts Land...~

"Have you seen Terra?" Ventus asked Aqua as she was practing her magic skills. "No. Have you checked his room?"

"Yeah but I got no answer."

"Well I didn't see him go into the weight room..." Aqua said thinking for minute. "Hey let's go check again. Maybe he's meditating."

"... Terra meditates?" Ven asked when they got to Terra's room. "Yeah. Master Eraqus intr-" There was muffed screamed coming inside the room. When they opened the door they merely stared at the sight to behold.

Terra was tied to his bed, stripped down to his underwear and had a red ball gag in his mouth. "Terra!" Aqua and Ventus rushed over to untie him. "What happened to you?"

"S-some girl here and hit me over the head. Then when I came to she was on top of me, saying how ,such she wanted to 'put her keyhole in my keyblade' and some other jazz. Then she took my keyblade and left."

Ventus looked from Aqua to Terra then to Aqua again. "Keyhole?"

* * *

~Back in Copper Canyon ~

"Now to take care of these ooglies. Thundaga!" A luminous cloud appeared and electrocuted the minions.

They quickly went in the direction the man had ran and was surprised by what they. In the next room there barrels of the red liquid and the man in purist was standing on one.

"With all this _Dark Water _I can travel the realms and rule the universe!" Chow and Pauile looked at each other.

"The universe?! Oh no!"

"Yeah, Final Fantasy VII is part of the universe!"

Pauile gave Chow a 'Really?' Look. "Well expect for Tifa, Yuffie, and Luceria. They can all burn as far as I'm considered-"

"Chow" Pauile said to snap the girl out of her babbling but she just went on.

"-I mean Luceria was a bitch who betrayed Vincent because she was 'confused', her ass should've listern to him and maybe this all wouldn't of happened-"

"Chow..." Pauile said again but still no break.

Yuffie I just wanna clock in the head with a steel-toed shoe cause in crisis core she was a little asshat and now she's a big asshat, I think she's a freaking boy and is just has hormone replacement therapy that's why she has little bumps she calls breasts. -"

"Chow!" Pauile said louder, a group of ooglies was headed for her.

"-and Tifa just a clingy, ugh, I could never be Cloud."

"CHOW!"

"Magnega!" Chow casted and all the minions that were near her were crushed by the magnetic force.

"What?" Chow turned to Pauile, seeing the pixie's ashen face.

An explosion roared overhead and Toxzon appeared from the sky. "You mean us!" He landed beside the man. "Fishy and I are getting tired of waiting, when do we get to take over the universe, and destroy Max Steel!"

"It's Toxzon!" Pauile screamed.

Arthur came in behind with an injured Max Steel. "Great." Toxzon went on "Now that your all here, I can destroy you all!"

_**"Oh I looovee that dark rumble in your voice." Fishy purred with delight.**_

"Really?" Toxzon giggled.

_**"Yes, it makes you sound that much more as a super villain"**_

"You think so?"

_**"It totally does."**_

"Dude, Shut up!" Everybody screamed at him, including the man. Toxzon flipped them the bird.

"Alright, Max and everyone else are incapacitated. Go back and help them. I should be able to hand this." Arthur said, his blood tentacles broke through his back.

"No. I joined N-Tek to fight and that's actually what I'm gonna do." Chow acknowledged. Arthur simply looked at the keyblade and shurged. "Fine, but stay out of my way."

"Alright. Pauile-"

"Sweet Trap Sugar H-"

"No, I was gonna-ah forget this. GHOST DRIVE!"

A ring of light lumined around Chow before she was engulfed in a violet aura. "STORM!" She began teleporting, so fast that it left afterimages 30 seconds long.

"Minions attack!" The man yelled and the possosed looking people came out. "Not without my glopies!" Toxzon said making his monster, red with the dark water.

"But that's Aqua's command style!" Pauile said. Chow teleported next to Pauile. "Don't ruin my fantasy! Oh and to your right."

Pauile turned to see a glopy enemy (ones toxzon made) right next to her. "Ah, pixie pollen!" The glopy just sneezed and countiued to walk. "A-ah. S-sweet Trap Sug-" the glopy exploded into a blood puddle.

"Your welcome." Arthur said nonchalantly then got back to fighting. Pauile wiped the wet blood and dark water off her face.

Chow, Arthur, and Pauile made their way to Toxzon and The man. "Your finish Toxzon. You to mystery man!" Chow declared.

"It is you that'll be finished, all of you!" The man pulled put a knife and came at Chow. Toxzon then began fighting Arthur, leaving Pauile to just stand there.

"Chow, let me help!" Pauile tried to come over to her but was halted. "No Pauile, go help the injured."

Pauile backed off then tried to come to Arthur's help but was always stop, giving her a cold. "Stay out of my way."

"But i wanna help too." Pauile closed her eyes and slowly began levitating in the air. An aurora of white slowly began to consume her, illuminated her in the light. When she opened her eyes they were like beautiful jewels. "Divine Aura Rhapsody!"

The aura of light blasted of her and knocked they two villains down on their feet. "W-wow Pauile-" Chow said as Pauile slowly descended down "-That was really beautiful. How come you never done that before?"

"Because I just don't feel like it sometimes." She shrugged.

"Great job you three?" Forge came up to them after they got out of the cave. "The the two have been stopped and the dark water has been suppressed. It's all over."

"Not quite." Chow indicated walking over the men. "Let's see who this really is." Chow took of the mask.

"Dress?!" Everyone exclaimed but Pauile shook her head. "Not quite" and she pulled off the mask.

"Dr. Blakk?!"

"Uh-uh" Arthur came over and pulled off the other mask. A very short man in red came out of the costumes.

"Voltar?!"

"Yes, I would have gotten away this if it weren't for you meddling heroes. And you Chow, one of this days Chow one of these days-"

"Yeah Yeah absoutly over the moon." Everyone laughed it up and returned to base.

* * *

Chow and Pauile were in Commander Forge's office signing a couple of papers before standing tall before the Commander and Ranomi. "Congratulations you two your now full fledged N-Tek agent."

"Awesome!" Chow cheered "This means I'm invincible? Nobody scares me now!" There was a knock at the door and when Chow opened she stared in fear. Terra and the rest of the Kingdom Hearts cast was there with sticks and torches. "You Chowhound?"

*insert Yakety Sax music and desperate fast-forward escape*

**Ah! Finally finished this damn story but don't worry people there will be a sequel, just as soon they get Season two with Dark Titan(Hopes he's sexy;). Read and Review please. This is Chowhound, signing out!**


End file.
